Listening to Bone-y Bear really gets my emotions in a knot. Or it opens that closet door, you know the one you keep everything stuff behind so tightly and the even slightly hinging it open causes it all to spill out like a jar of tiny marbles. (I want a jar of marbles!) That's how my emotions are about my future. I hide them because I don't want to deal with them. I'm terrified of them.

I ultimately don't know what I want to do. Then, I want to do everything. I want to dabble in everything, but I know that I can major, or concentration, on "everything." People want you to pick something that is practical. Become a doctor, a business man, a something that we value in society that will get you a fat pay check that you can parade in front of your family and friends.

I don't want that.
I do want that.
It's this do I or don't I?
It's kind of tiring to wonder about constantly.

It's disheartening because people, from articles I've read and conversations I've heard or had, have such a pessimistic look on people who don't partake in these practical careers.  Writing them off or saying things like "that's a useless degree; what are you going to do with that; oh, so you want to be a teacher?"

Sigh.

Truthfully, I want to do nothing and everything. I want to listen to the music I love, read the books I want to read and live the life that I believe in. Not the life that others believe in. I can still be successful and not doing something practical. Just watch me.